Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I have one more exam left. I am a little tired. I am tired and I am sad as well. I dont know if its the rain or what but I just feel so lethargic and like not doing anything. It's rough because I have 4 journal articles to read and some googling to do and some refreshing of powerpoints. All that for my exam tomorrow which I still won't be prepared for. But I am not sweating it that much. It is the most important exam that I have to do because the class is to finish my women's studies minor but I will just have to bit the bullet and take another class if I fail. I pray to God I dont, but who wants to stress?

I went to a BBQ today with everyone. It was so fun. I will seriously miss these people. It is so nice to just have the fun the way I have while I have been here. Constantly meeting people and such. I just cannot believe that I will be gone and back to Akron. I am so scared that I will get my old life back. I do not want my old life. I will die if I have it. I just can't do it. I have to just live one day at a time, no stress, no negativity, and just meet new people and flirt and go to parties and stuff. Right before I left home, I started to and I will try to continue to. The dynamic of the people is different though. Were all international students looking for the same thing. I have learned what I like though. I dont like clubs. I hate clubs really. Well, not hate. I suspect I will be going to Oceana if they go on Friday (club) but I still prefer not going. I have been doing a lil drinking. I never really drank at home. Well I shouldnt say that because some new friends of mine got me to drinking right before I left. Maybe thats why I started drinking a lil more here. I love cider. What in the hell will I do without cider? Do we have cider at home? I hope.

Anyways. I dont know. I just have to be upsheveled again. But I really do miss my friends and family and my cat. I dont want to romanticize my time here. I mean, it is the way it is and I do love it but I also love my friends and family at home. I love that I can talk regular without worrying about grammar and shit and not correcting myself. I do thank everyone here though because I have become a better listener and a much slower talker. I appreciate that.

I am worried about duty. I hope to goodness that I do not have to pay duty on anything. I asked my study abroad advisor if she had any insight and all she did was direct me to the damn website. I obviously have Internet. Sheesh.

I emailed this girl on Craigslist about an apartment and she seems okay but I do not know if I want to live with a roommate. I just dont know. But I dont know if I want to live alone after living with so many people and just never being alone. I have not felt alone here. I will say the first week is it. After that, bam, never felt alone. Everyone is just here. Sigh.

Okay, I hate to be so down. I have two conflicting emotions. I have sadness and happiness going on.

Okay, okay. I know. I still have to do two posts. One on traveling Black and on studying abroad in general. Yes, I know. I have an exam. I am not even supposed to be on here right now but I am procrastinating. I seriously am tired of looking at books. But yea, anyways. lol

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