Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Black Women and Depression

There are a lot of blogs. There are even blogs about having blogs. I can seriously find a blog dedicated to things that I never want to read on a blog. So why is it that there are not many blogs about Black women and depression. I am saying many because I do not want to say any. I can not say that I searched high and wide. I did search enough to find out that they are either outdated or just not there. I think that more Black women should blog about mental illess. More Black people in general.

People go to blogs in order to read individuals (or many individuals) perception, view, opinion, etc. of things. And someone who is Black and has a mental disorder needs to come out to talk about it, on a blog. I could say that the reason why I think there is a lack of this is because of the shame that comes with mental illess, let alone the shame that comes with mental illness in the Black community.

I would like to start a blog about experiencing mental illness and having experienced being around others with mental illness but how? And what am I doing with this blog. I do not want a blog to be all about how sad it is to have a mental illess. I would like it to be informative while being personal, open and honest. If I do not do one, I would like someone else to do one. This is something I should talk to my friends about doing. I think it is important. Just a thought for the night time I suppose.

Monday, March 22, 2010


I am having a McShitty day. I feel like shit. I hate feeling like shit, because when I feel crappy, the world can do no right. I am totally one of those people. But thats what depression does to you. It shades the way you look at the world. It makes the world gray. Everything seems like it is either stupid or too hard. And I just dont have the time for it. I knew how today was going to be when I woke up.

I woke up in one of those...oh shit moods. You know? When you just know that something deep inside is being attacked by something. It is a horrible feeling. And its almost unbearable. That is until you participate in some instant gratification which would be anythig that changes your mood quickly. That is how addictions start. Not for everyone of course. A lot of addictions start because people are curious but many addictions start because people need some relief. And I need some relief. It's a wonder I am not a crack head sometimes.

I have so much work to do. And I knew that I was feeling my old self again because I feel consumed by life instead of consuming life. Depression is seriously a bitch.

So, I am deleting my picture off of here. Only because I do not know who reads my page. And also, I do not want to be identifiable. I just want to not have a face. I mean, the truth is probably that no one comes by here. That I am probably just writing this for my own pleasure. But thats fine. You just never know.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Hey Hey Hey

Today I am restless. I just can not get any energy going on. Mainly energy for school. I just get online and bullshit. I am not sure why. It is just an easy thing to do when you are bored. I hate it when I just come online and become obsessed with looking at all of these gossip and fashion blogs. What does it really do for anyone to stay on Jezebel or YBF or anything else all day? Nothing at all. And yet, I still do it.

So, I am making a committment to stay off of the internet all weekend. Unless it is on my school website, which is where I need to be so I can complete this work. Otherwise, I need not be on the internet. I hope that I am able to finish just a little bit of homework tonight so that I can relax more tomorrow. But I doubt it. I will probably have to work tomorrow anyways.

I am at least very glad that the weather is awesome! I hope anyone out there who might be reading my blog has a good day. :o)