Monday, March 22, 2010


I am having a McShitty day. I feel like shit. I hate feeling like shit, because when I feel crappy, the world can do no right. I am totally one of those people. But thats what depression does to you. It shades the way you look at the world. It makes the world gray. Everything seems like it is either stupid or too hard. And I just dont have the time for it. I knew how today was going to be when I woke up.

I woke up in one of those...oh shit moods. You know? When you just know that something deep inside is being attacked by something. It is a horrible feeling. And its almost unbearable. That is until you participate in some instant gratification which would be anythig that changes your mood quickly. That is how addictions start. Not for everyone of course. A lot of addictions start because people are curious but many addictions start because people need some relief. And I need some relief. It's a wonder I am not a crack head sometimes.

I have so much work to do. And I knew that I was feeling my old self again because I feel consumed by life instead of consuming life. Depression is seriously a bitch.

So, I am deleting my picture off of here. Only because I do not know who reads my page. And also, I do not want to be identifiable. I just want to not have a face. I mean, the truth is probably that no one comes by here. That I am probably just writing this for my own pleasure. But thats fine. You just never know.

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