Monday, May 11, 2009

Just Got Back From Paris, France


So I havent written in a while and its because I am traveling. But I do need to come and just write right now. I am feeling overwhelmed. I just feel like I have so much to do right now. I am going to Italy tomorrow and I still have so much homework to concentrate on. When I come back, I will be cramming and I do not cram very well. I am not a good cram student. I am just afraid that I will get very poor grades in my classes while I am here. And its because I am more focused on traveling and meeting new people than I am on studying.

Can you seriously blame me? I mean, if I fail, shame on me, but if I gets C' just gonna have to suck it up. The thing is that I am trying to get into graduate school and I cannot get itno graduate school with horrible grades and horrible recommendations and just horrible horrible. I am really afraid about this process. I need to start taking a GRE prep course. I need to take the GRE. I am taking 3 classes. It's just like, oh my gosh. I will not see anyone this summer. Seriously. I will have to really focus. But I feel like if I am overwhelmed with doing all of this I should probably reconsider graduate school because I mean, come on. I dont think this is anything.

Anyways. This is just going to be a random message. I am broke. Seriously. I have 200 dollars and my hostels cost 100 and I need to catch a train once I get to Italy. This means I have no food money and no spending money. I care less about the later. I am still going to go though because oh well. I have asked to borrow some money from my moms but if they dont let me, I will be okay. I will be bringing 3 apples, some fruity bar thingies, and some crackers. I went broke in Paris and for lunch yesterday, I had crackers and an apple. lol. This is crazy. But I didnt care. I didnt obsess about it. I didnt go into ED mode. I just said, okay, its all up to my higher power and keep moving. And youd be surprised what your body can work on.

So, if I run out of money, I will be okay. As long as I can make it home. But most importantly, I am STUDYING in Italy. I cannot look at this as if I am only visiting. The only reason I can go is because I have to make myself study. It would be ridiculous if I didnt. I will fail, no doubt. I have to watch this movie, I have to. AGHHH. I am like freaking out. Coming home is making me nervous. What if I dont get my cat in time? What if I dont find an apartment? I just have to chill at and do one thing at a time.

Okay, I am gone. Too much to do. Im not proofreading this.

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